Yes, I said it. Scheisse. Merde. Shiteous.
I try never to complain...but well...here I am complaining!
This week has been shit (Sorry, Grandma)...
Lest you think I have given up hope...not my style tho!
(I got Mad Hopes!)
I did have one glimmering shining moment accompanied by Frozen margarita swirled with Sangria with 2 of my pals.
I present you with proof.
Scheisse Exhibit #1
Last Friday at 5:30pm.
Front end damage to your awesome but cheapy economical car: $3000.00 or Possibly TOTALLED
Phone Minutes spent with 2 Insurance Agencies: 97
Xrays to make sure your aching shoulder and knee is from getting older(it isn't): 2
Number of words it takes from the Police to make it all better: 3 * NOT *YOUR *FAULT
Watching the woman who made an illegal Left hand turn in front of you get a ticket: PRICELESS
Pixie and I are fine,
Thank G-d, Praise be Buddha, Lord Krishna, Pope Benedict, and whomever I left out..
Scheisse Exhibit #2

I have a new roommate.
Harvey.
He's a mouse (mice????) that uses my clean spotless apartment for his personal commode.
I don't keep out food and I am a constant cleaner...so he's getting his chow somewhere else.
Being a control freak, ahem...Effective Manager...I have inspected EVERYTHING.
No chewing. (I looked at the yarn first)
I'm a rest stop on the way to the Slob next to me.
My intelligent Apartment Fix-it-Fellas gave me sticky BUG traps that Harvey apparently likes to get into, lick all the peanut butter out of, and take a leisurely relaxing d*mp in.
Really.
I should have put out the Mouse Weekly so he'd have something to read.
The ones I laid out flat he's pushed under the washer and dryer because, well...
he's onto me and he already ate the peanut butter off those two as well.
They were of no use to him.
The icing on the cake for me was at Knit Nite,
Harvey decides to skitter around the corner and gross out my lovely guests and turn and run like mad.
This was not held against me as Donna and Lauren are wise in the ways of Mouse Warfare!
We weren't too freaked out. We had wine. BUT...
Oh lordy.
I do not believe in killing animals. But this is war, people.
I had a mouse turd on the bottom of my BARE foot. ew.
I was/am mad.
Mad at the turds. (plural turds...I'd venture to say MULTITUDE)
Mad at the Mouse who left the turds.
Mad that I had to Haul out the vacuum to clean up the turds for the 4th time this week.
MAD MAD MAD.
(I'd like some cheese with my whine please...a nice cab, please.)
Sooooo...I set out those horrific snapping traps and waited last night to hear snapping and prayed for my immortal soul.
Nothing.
I personally think that Harvey is wise in the ways of the Force.
Humane Traps? I thought about those for like a Nanosecond.
I couldn't find any that I was willing to pay the equivalent of a good amount of rowan yarn for.
The woman at the ACE hardware must have looked at the phone like it had 6 heads.
KMART afforded me better and I bought the "Victory over Vermin" traps of death.
Yeah, 95 cents for 2. I bought 4.
You can't even get red heart at a swap meet for that.
This is the face of a woman who has gone to the Dark Side and means to win.
It is also the face of a woman who plans to take her Pixie to the Pool and knit at nite and relax the Scheisse away!
Hope you Enjoy your Scheisse free weekend!!
Hug yer little ones, yer not so little ones and hang up or put those cell phones on speakerphone when you are driving!
Peace be with ya!
Posted by Heather at June 9, 2006 10:25 AMOh no! What a crazy time you've been having! So sorry that you had that accident and really glad that you are OK!! Do relax and I will give my bug an extra hug today as you instructed! Have a great weekend Heather.
Posted by: Rachel at June 9, 2006 12:14 PMGoodness! What a terrible week you've had. I can somewhat relate. In any event, as to your little rodent (ewww) I have found (much to my dismay) that Decon works very well as a last resort, however, if the said rodent doesn't escape your apartment before passing on, the smell will lead you to him. I wish you good luck and rodent free days soon! Happy Knitting at the pool!
Posted by: Cathy at June 9, 2006 12:31 PMOh, Scheisse! Is it OK to say that I found this post to be very funny, even though I know I shouldn't say that because you are p*i*s*s*e*d? The stuff wasn't funny; just how you put it. Please, forgive me.
I'm glad to hear you guys are safe and sound.
About Mr. M...well, I've been there. Back then we managed to scared the little guy out; now I live in a roach-infested apartment. I don't know what's worse.
However, everything is not bad, my dear friend...because you are looking absolutely HOT these days, as shown in that last picture.
I hope you have a good, non-shiteous weekend!
Posted by: isel at June 9, 2006 12:35 PMOh wow. After my encounter with The Car Accident, I am so happy for you that you are all right. Thank everything that you are!!!! Yes, go to the pool with knitting and Pixie and have that margarita!
Posted by: LeAnne at June 9, 2006 12:37 PMSorry to hear about the accident. Glad to know that you both are ok. Do not feel bad about trying to get the mouse. I am sure he does not feel bad about using your house as his personal bathroom. Did you get a new hair cut? It looks great!
Posted by: Vickie at June 9, 2006 01:09 PMaw man, that blows! I'm going to have a vodka cranberry cocktail for you (and me). Is 1:30 PM too early?
Posted by: melanie at June 9, 2006 01:17 PMGlad to hear everyone is fine.
About the M, bait your trap with a bit of fresh, slightly chewed sugary bubble gum. M's can't resist the gum. It's worked for us more than once. Oh bad news, if you see one, there is at least one more. They seem to travel in pairs.
Ooh, so sorry about the car. It is good to hear "not your fault."
I hope your weekend is relaxing and rodent free!
oh no! sorry about the bad week....hope your time by the pool makes up for it! you know, cats are pretty effective at keeping the mice away!
Posted by: shoofly at June 9, 2006 02:27 PMOh Man! That is a shit week! Glad you and pixie are fine and that the accident was NOT your fault. Maybe Mr. McMouse is running you around so you don't have time to think about the car? Or maybe this is Pixie's way of convincing you to get a cat??
Posted by: Kathy at June 9, 2006 02:41 PMUgh, ugh ugh. Cell phone driving is the worst, they should get soem extra penalty for causing accidents doing that or something. I totally sympathize though, I still have pain and stiffness from our vehicle accident in September. I hope you're not the same.
You know I'm a vegetarian animal lover, but I say get that mouse!
Posted by: Jenna at June 9, 2006 03:12 PMI am glad that you and Pixie are ok! I would warn you about Decon, though. If the mousey eats it and gets into the wall, then when he dies, you are out of luck at finding him. And let me tell you that is one bad smell!!! It does go away after a couple weeks...
Posted by: Amanda at June 9, 2006 03:24 PMI'm so sorry you had a crap week :-( But I am glad that you and Pixie are okay! Stupid woman for NOT KNOWING HOW TO DRIVE.
Maybe you can tempt your mouse roommate with brownies? When hub and I first got married we moved into a house and a few months later a mouse decided to move in, too. He was poopin' everywhere and getting into my pantry, and traps didn't work. Just when I thought I'd have to get an exterminator for one pesky mouse, we got it by accident. I had made a pan of brownies and covered them with plastic wrap. The little bugger managed to nibble a little hole in the plastic wrap in order to get at the brownies and then he couldn't get out. Trapped! Made it very easy for hubby to dispose of him. Death by brownies.
P.S. I second what Karen says. Right after the first mouse got caught in the brownies we trapped another one. They must have been a pair. After we got the second one we had no more mice trouble.
Oh, Heather, I'm so glad you and pixie are okay! I'm having a real crapper of a week, but my problems are small compared to your car issue *and* when I called home today to get a telephone hug (at 3:30, when I got my first break since 7:00 am), DH told me there's a package there from you, so you're making my day that much better. I can't wait until I get home tonight!
On the mouse thing, yes, you have to go with the snapping traps, sad to say. If you give them poison, they will eat it and die inside your wall where they stink for weeks and you can't do a thing about it. I wish I lived closer. I am for some reason the only person at work who dares to touch the dead mice and traps (I do put on surgical gloves and then wash up after.), so I am the unofficial mouse removal expert.
Posted by: Susan at June 9, 2006 05:08 PMBlech, what a week! Thank goodness you and Pixie are both okay. I'm glad the person who caused your accident got a ticket and I hope that she has good insurance. Have a relaxing Scheisse free weekend, dear.
Posted by: Karma at June 9, 2006 05:23 PMOoo... poor Red Devil! You'll have to keep me posted on recovery... I'm just so glad that you & Pixie are okay (except for your knee & shoulder. At least your injuries won't affect your knitting!)
Good luck with Harvey. I know you hate to hurt animals, but that apartment ain't big enough for the three of you. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
Love you!
Posted by: keowdie at June 9, 2006 05:26 PMSorry you had a shitty week, but you turned my shitty week around with a good laugh about your shitty week. I'm trying to figure out how many times I can say the word shitty in one comment post. :)
Posted by: Amanda at June 9, 2006 07:19 PMMan, I just went through the mouse thing. Everybody commented and left me all kinds of ideas, but in the end Susan is right. The snappy trappy deals do work. And are far more humane than the stickies. You just have to find the right food. People suggested peanut butter, cheese, candy, you name it. I eventually did catch four over the course of about a month and since then no more poop. The key is it has to be something they have to work hard at to get. Our golden ticket was dry dog food mashed down so hard on that gripper thing that they had to gnaw it out. Anything they could lick or gently bite didn't work. You have to keep rotating bait if something isn't working, but once you find what works keep doing it. It's true that they don't travel alone. And some of them travel in packs. No poison, you don't want a family of mice stinking up your apartment when they die in the walls. Especially in summer. PEEEYOOO! Or to kill a cat who eats a poisoned mouse, either.
I've had a shitty week too. Complete Shite. I think next week you and I should get to have better weeks than everyone else by special proclamation.
Posted by: jenifleur at June 9, 2006 07:41 PMAs a former mouse owner (he was the best, his name was Roo, I loved him dearly, but, of course, he was bred for being a pet), I can attest that they LOVE Cheerios. Roo went NUTS for Cheerios. They do not, however, like Kashi. Not even the heart-shaped stuff.
Posted by: kristin at June 9, 2006 09:04 PMMy heart went out to you and Pixie while reading about your crap week! Dangerous drivers are everywhere ... it's fortunate that both you gals are fine.
I hope the traps work ... and in the meantime, wish you and Pixie a stress-free good time during the weekend. Take care.
See? I told you it happens to everyone! :)
Well, your week was not ALL shit! We managed to have a great time on Wednesday night!
So glad you and pixie are alright--it's really scary how awful a few seconds could have made things different!
How 'bout a cat? Not a kitten...borrow someone's big old hunting cat. Years ago when I was living above a chinese restaurant I had to do that, and boy did that kitty take care of business. You have to do something fast because mice multiply at an insane rate!
Posted by: Monica at June 10, 2006 01:13 AMoh no! ugh. what can I say. I hope you kill the yucky mouse. *shivers*. And I hope the car situation turns out okay. I feel your pain! went through that last winter. Well, the husband did, anyway. I had to deal with all of teh insurance crap that went along with it.
May next week be infinately better :)
Posted by: Moni at June 10, 2006 12:22 PMoh no!!! your poor car :( and mice on top of that!
i highly recommend sticking lumps of snickers bars on the trap. REALLY stick it on there so that they have to pull it off. mice like chocolate.. a lot. we managed to kill several that way in my husband's apartment in manhattan. good luck!
all's fair in love and war.
Posted by: gleek at June 10, 2006 04:13 PMI'm so glad that you and Pixie are fine from the accident, even if your poor car is damaged.
Grrr! Bad mice! If my cat Pocky were still on this coast instead of at my sister's, I'd bring him over to help with the mouse problem. He's a great mouser, voler, moler, birder, etc. And absolutely fearless when it comes to stalking butterflies. =)
Posted by: Rossana at June 10, 2006 09:08 PMOh dear!!!! So sorry about the week from hell! Some have commented already about getting a cat or borrowing one - good idea! If I lived closer I'd loan you my female cat who rid our last home of two mice (she was so proud!). Hang in there, Heather! Hope next week is scheisse-free!
Posted by: sUsAn at June 10, 2006 11:19 PMOne word for you. CAT...We don't have one now, but 15yrs ago, we did, and we had 1 mouse.. UGH.. anyway, got them both in the BR closed the door, and that mouse was history in less than a minute. true story. So sorry about the pretty red car...this week will be better.hugs to you and pixie
Posted by: sherry at June 11, 2006 06:00 AMWe have a close shave in a taxi with my knit buddies on Sat too that involved a driver on the phone. Those people are so reckless. I'm glad you are alright.
Posted by: Siow Chin at June 12, 2006 03:01 AMSo glad you two are ok. And even better that the other driver got what she deserved.
I won't gross you out with my Rat stories. I had little kids then, and they weren't going to get at them. But I did dispose of them while they weren't home. So they didn't have to witness me going all Highlander on them.
I don't like killing things either, but if it's between my kids health and safety and a mouse, the mouse loses big time.
:)
Posted by: Micky at June 12, 2006 10:45 AMOh my! I miss the blogs for the weekend and miss a lot! First of glad you are okay and that it wasn't your fault, that must have been a huge relief.
Second, you are a stronger woman than I would be, I would be the biggest wimp if I knew there was a mouse residing with me. YIKES! You need a cat!
Tonight I am sending GOOD KARMA to you, the BEST KARMA. Then I'm going to have a drink (I'm thinkin' this deserves a mudslide) in your honor.
So glad to hear that you and cute pixie are ok, and hopefully the mouse will be joining other mice who have gone to meet their maker. I agree with Kate. You need a cute, little cat, a hungry little cat. Hang in there and here's to a better week ahead!
Posted by: Brenda at June 12, 2006 02:12 PMOh honey! So glad you and Pixie are okay. Good luck on getting the car insurance all sorted out.
And good luck w/the mouse!
Having grown up in an old NYC apartment, I can give you a tip about the mouse. Go to your hardware store and pick up steel wool, The kind that comes without soap. Go around your apartment and plug every hole you can see with it. Usually they are coming in under your sinks where the pipes are going through the walls. Wear gloves and stuff it all around the pipe openings. This solution works very well because rodents can't/won't go through the steel wool without getting cut. It even worked against roaches when we lived in Brooklyn and had a sudden roach invasion, ugh!
Glad to hear you are both OK, though!
Girl..you crack me up! Even w/your week of scheisse, you manage to make it humorous. That photo of the little red car is too sad! But yes, we did have fun Wed. night ; )
Posted by: Donna at June 12, 2006 05:49 PMErg. Or should I say EEK! I had no idea you had been having such a craptastic week. To be fair to Harvey, I've been having a mouse problem too as of late. In my case, the mice are trying to avoid the snakes in the yard and the feral cats on the prowl... But would you like to borrow my mouser. Ivan is quite skilled at mouse wrangling. :)
Posted by: Lizzy B at June 13, 2006 09:31 AMugh, car accidents are the worst, i'm so glad that you and pixie are good. it's a lot scarier when you've got little ones in the car with you!
Harvey seems like quite the social butterfly, if only he could take a hint, eh! good luck with your new traps, just the thought of mice and mice turds it making me squirmy, ick!
You deserve that cheese with your whine and an uneventful week too! here's t hoping for a little bit of turd-free peace and quiet.
Oh, the accident ist really sch..... but I hope, you're ok. I loughed, when I read this word. We in Germany often use the English word, so it doesn't hear so hard than the word in german.
Have a good time without mice
greetings from
Elke